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Ice Ice Baby (Freezing Rain Parody)

Since I'm due to get a load of ice tonight into Sunday morning, I decided to make a parody of Ice Ice Baby all about snow, ice, freezing weather, and all the awful things that go along with it.

Yo, DOT
Let's clear it

Ice Ice Baby
Ice Ice Baby

All right stop
You folks are all out of luck
Precipitation that will fuck you up
Something makes everything all slippy
Falls and freezes before it gets drippy
Will it ever stop?
Yo - I don't know
Hang off a branch and I’ll go
Fall on a power line, knock out all the power
Freezing your asses off hour upon hour

Rain – I’m freezing upon contact
Soon be ruining every SLA contract
Freezing – I’m causing interstate pileups
Sand and melter cannot help you when I stack up
Love it or leave it
You better give way
You better just stay home
‘Cause I don’t play
I always cause problems
You can’t solve it
Stay off the road while the plows go resolve it

Ice Ice Baby, Freezing rain
Ice Ice Baby, Freezing rain
Ice Ice Baby, Freezing rain
Ice Ice Baby, Freezing rain

Now that freezing rain is fallin’
With the schools and work, and government all bawlin’
Ice on the road, on the road all slick like
You better not be driving all quick like
Sliding ‘round if you ain’t smart and slow down
You go fast and you will slide and spin round
You’ll slide off the road and be in a ditch
Roadside won’t help – You’ll holler, swear, and twitch
Police – They’ll find your car
When another guy calls in where you are
And here comes the tow truck
Come to get you unstuck
What’s it cost?
Well – a hundred bucks
Keep on – Just turn around and go home
Snow and ice on the roads is a bad time to go roam
The house was dead
So – we have no power, heat, or electricity here now

No TV and the internet is gone
Sat by the radio, weather, no song
Waiting – ‘cause we’ve nothing to do
We could play some UNO or just sit and stew
Bored now – count flowers on the wall
Like Statlers, don’t tell me I’ve nothing to do at all
Creaking, cracking, scared as hell
Noise from next door, ah it’s them oh well
Fallin’ – branches to the grass
Will it hit us? It’ll squash our ass
Hypothermia our joint enemy
Must get to a heating shelter where we can be
Calm, safe, and warm be
And then we will see
In a building – Away from a fallen tree
I always cause problems
You can’t solve it
Stay off the road while the plows go resolve it
Ice Ice Baby, Freezing rain
Ice Ice Baby, Freezing rain
Ice Ice Baby, Freezing rain
Ice Ice Baby, Freezing rain

Stay home – cause this weather can be deadly
Put the homeless in hotels but the city’s not friendly
Cold snap that will make all of your joints crack
Enough to freeze up and have pain in your back
‘Cause this chill harms the homeless and old
Vulnerable people that suffer in cold
Winter is their foe and the season leveled up
They need it warm and don’t want to freeze to death
The power goes out – The houses get cold – Chill takes them like a rout
So fast
Paramedics say “Damn”
City gets this chilly
Well then take them in, fam
Kill heat and light when I drop freezing water
Be safe and warm and go do what you oughta
I always cause problems
You can’t solve it
Stay off the road while the plows go resolve it

Ice Ice Baby, Freezing rain
Ice Ice Baby, Freezing rain
Ice Ice Baby, Freezing rain
Ice Ice Baby, Freezing rain ice

Yo man let's get out of here
I hear branches breaking

Ice Ice Baby, too cold
Ice Ice Baby, too cold, too cold
Ice Ice Baby, too cold, too cold
Ice Ice Baby, too cold, too cold

Day 5 of #100DaysToOffload


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