Testing My Patience
To conceal my location, the hospitals in this story will be replaced with UK football clubs. The guilty hospital system will remain unchanged.
So, I had to go get a lung test done at Crystal Palace. I got a call from Central Scheduling at Bon Secours and set up an appointment for Friday. Since it involves blowing into a machine, I have to go get a COVID test done, and this is where the fun begins. The COVID test has to be done 72-96 hours before the appointment. According to the lady at Central Scheduling, they only do the tests from 7:45 AM to 12PM each day at a tent in front of the hospital. Also there's a drive thru testing location near a well known recently demolished mall from 8-5 every day. Ok, simple enough.
A few minutes later I got a message from a lady at the COVID office at Crystal Palace to schedule my test. When I called her back and told her I was going to get a test Tuesday morning, I learned that pretty much everything I had been told by Central Scheduling and was relying upon to get my test done was bullshit! They don't do any tests at Crystal Palace on Tuesdays, only Monday, Thursday, and Friday. Since 12:00PM would be just outside of the range for my test, I'd have to go to another tent at Millwall, in the middle of the city, to have it done. I can't get to Millwall because there's no public transportation and who's giving a ride to someone who's getting a COVID test unless they're your own flesh and blood? Also they don't use tests from that drive thru location.
Finally I gave up and asked the COVID office if I could just get it done at a pharmacy. She said that the pharmacies generally don't get test results back quick enough and if at all possible to do it at Millwall. I'd need a PCR test done and have the negative results back in a document before having the test done or they'd have to reschedule it. I had to call the pharmacy near me and make sure they'd get the result back in time before even considering it.
4 hours of calling back and forth later, I finally have a fitting COVID test scheduled for Monday afternoon at the pharmacy that should be back in 24-72 hours. If the results aren't back in about 92 hours, I have to reschedule the lung test. Why the fuck does this have to be so hard?! If the tent at Crystal Palace was open late Monday or Tuesday, this never would have been an issue, but now I'm gambling on a test to come back in time because Bon Secours can't get its facts straight within its own system. Ridiculous.